toinks. toinks. toinks.

I Know Him So Well
Written by B Andersson/T Rice/B Ulvaeus

Nothing is so good it lasts eternally
Perfect situations must go wrong
But this has never yet prevented me
Wanting far too much for far too long

Looking back I could have played it differently
Won a few more moments, who can tell
But it took time to understand the man
Now at least I know I know him well

Wasn’t it good
Oh so good
Wasn’t he fine
Oh so fine
Isn’t it madness
He can’t be mine
But in the end he needs a little bit more than me
More security
He needs his fantasy and freedom
I know him so well

No one in your life is with you constantly
No one is completely on your side
And though I move my world to be with him
Still the gap between us is too wide

Looking back I could have played it differently
(Looking back I could have played things some other way)
Learned about the man before I fell
(I was just a little careless maybe)
But I was ever so much younger then
(Much younger then)
Now at least I know him well
Now at least I know I know him well

Wasn’t it good
Oh so good
Wasn’t he fine
Oh so fine
Isn’t it madness
He won’t be mine
Didn’t I know how it would go
If I knew from the start
Why am I falling apart

Wasn’t it good, wasn’t he fine
Isn’t it madness
He won’t be mine
But in the end he needs a little bit more than me
More security
He needs his fantasy and freedom
I know him so well
It took time to understand him
I know him so well

–

Yes, I do. Swear talaga. That’s why I can tell na I’m better off. Sana lang my heart my would listen.

He He He. We performed this in senior prom. Cutesy no? I always loved this song, esp right now

Steps
It’s The Way You Make Me Feel

It’s the things that you do,
So physical,
It’s the things that you say,
So flammable,
You know I can’t resist,
Boy it’s such a shame,
Do you belong to another,
I don’t wanna hurt nobody,
But my heart just can’t hold back,

It’s the Way You Make Me Feel,
The way that you make me feel,
Spinning my world around,
Tell me how can I walk away,
I don’t care what they say,
I’m loving you anyway,
It’s the way you make me feel

I’m going to make you mine,
It’s not impossible,
Got to let you know,
I’m irresistible,
Baby can’t you see,
You’re the one for me,
But you belong to another,
I don’t wanna hurt nobody,
But my heart just can’t hold back,

It’s the Way You Make Me Feel,
The way that you make me feel,
Spinning my world around,
Tell me how can I walk away,
I don’t care what they say,
I’m loving you anyway,
It’s the way you make me feel

When I look into your eyes,
Everytime you smile at me,
Oh I go weak inside,
Baby I just can’t hide my love,

It’s the Way You Make Me Feel,
The way that you make me feel,
Spinning my world around,
Tell me how can I walk away,
I don’t care what they say,
I’m loving you anyway,
It’s the way you make me feel

1.Spell your name as it sounds:
♡ ee-lah
2. Are you single or taken?
♡ single and lovin’ it!
3. Whats your favorite number(s)?
♡ it used to be 7
4. Favorite color(s)?
♡ purple, blue, periwinkle
5. Have you ever been to Canada?
♡ Yes. But I have plans on going there. PAOLO!!! MAKE IT HAPPEN!!
6. Have you ever been fishing?
♡ Hmmm…yes *wink *wink
7. Have you ever seen a celebrity?
♡ yes
THE HOWS:
1. How much money do you have on you right now?
♡ basta not enough!
2. How many cars have you owned?
♡ none
3. How many jobs have you had?
♡ one
4. How tall are you?
♡ 5′3”?
THE LASTS:
1. Last person to call you?
♡ Ate Bajah my labs labs
2. Last thing you yelled out loud?
♡ What the?!
3. Last person you were in a car with?
♡ Ate Bajah lablab
4. Last time you ate at McDonald’s?
♡ Hmmm…it’s been a long time na din pala. I can’t even remember when haha
5. Last thing you had for dinner?
♡ siomai, beef with green pepper and onion
6. Last thing you bought?
♡ dinner
7. Last person/s you saw?
♡ my momma
8. Last time you cried?
♡ hmmm…
9. Last time you laughed?
♡ last night
THE WHATS:
1. What is the temperature outside?
♡ I have no idea
2. What time did you wake up?
♡ noon
44. Do you have a best friend?
♡ Yes
45. What goes best with a coke?
♡ I don’t know great buddies to chitchat with
49. Is your birthday coming up?
♡ No
53. Where were you at 3:02 AM this morning?
♡ yesterday, Tabu. It’s only 1:25AM
59. What was the first thing you thought this morning?
♡ hmmm…hapon nanaman
61. What are your plans for this week?
♡ party all weekend!
64. Coke or Pepsi?
♡ pepsi [haha alala ko joke ni ate fei]
66. What do you dislike at the moment?
♡ seeing him when I look like trash hehe
67. What did you dream about last night?
♡ can’t remember
68. What’s the last TV show you watched?
♡ ewan ko na
70. Name 1 person on your Top Friends who is the most like you?
♡ myself ;P
72. Are you on any medication?
♡ claricort ;P
73.Have you ever cut your own hair?
♡ yes
74. What is your favorite frozen treat?
♡ ice cream
75. How many piercings/tattoos do you have?
♡ a pair of piercing
76. Where’s your favorite place to be?
♡ anywhere. It’s the company that counts
77. Is there someone you haven’t seen in a while and miss?
♡ yes. Lots of ‘em
78. Who was the last text sent to?
♡ Benz of bigfish, I think he’s a promoter
79. Do you care what people think about you?
♡ depends on who these people are.

…because you’ll never know when you’re gonna bump into could-be-Mr. Right or worse…Mr. Who-belongs-to-the-past. Cause, really…Why do we see these unexpected people at the most unexpected places and time?! WHHHYYYY?!!??

Just like what happened to me yesterday [last night. haha], at Glorietta 3. I don’t know what got into my mind why I went back to Landmark and take the right way instead of left going back to Glo. Hahahaha!

When I was going through my closet for what to wear, I was suppose to wear my topshop red jersey tunic top, and cutesy shorts with extra cutesy gladiator, pero ewan what got into my mind, I just wore a MNG moss green racerback, pinstriped shorts, havaianas high with matching parang panlalakeng brown messenger bag, from FCUK. Parang may bibilin lang sa kanto look, di ba? Tapos I just wore pressed powder…I hardly brushed my hair pa ng maayos. I didn’t even bring a hairbrush with me! Grabe haggardness to the nth level with the ala-bukirin/rain forest eyebrows…UGH

Syempre lahat tayo, kahit blast from the past pa sila, we want to look good [our best! haha] when they see us, di ba? Kasi once they become a closed chapter in our lives, para na silang kakumpetensya kung sinong mas masaya after “THE END”, nung chapter nila sa aklat ng ating laypness. Hmpf. Inis. So chaka talaga.

Tapos may 3 ala-bulletin board-hi-hello-we’re-here pimples pa ako sa noo!!! CREAM na mamaya! HAY! This halloween is so stressful! Unlike the last time, when it was raining with parties, boys, friends, shopping, lahat…it was one helluvah halloween! Teehee. Oh well, better luck na lang on Christmas Last year, I had the worst Christmas of my life e. So this year, not-so-good halloween, I’m hoping for a better Christmas.

Now, at least I can say, no what if’s for me, bec I’ve proved my point, and that point (sige try naten angle haha) is right. Well, most of you know me that I always mess up because I always (always, always, always) try to look, focus, believe in a person’s good side…para bang hindi ako naniniwala na may kasamaan. He he. I don’t know, I’m just built that way, I guess. Parang every bad action [by other people], I make an excuse for them, justification…a good one. Kahit sino ito ha? As in. It’s like even other people feed me [negative] facts about someone or something, I find a way to prove that it’s not that bad…halimbawa: “kasi baka naman hindi nya sadya, namimisinterpret lang natin sya. he/she must have a good reason, hindi nya lang masabi.” kahit na nagsusumigaw na ang kasamaan sa ginagawa nya. He he. Para kasing I grew up that all of us, no matter how bad the things we might do, deep inside us, mabuti tayo e. Kase ako if I do bad, my conscience kills me. As in papatayin ako ng guilt feelings. Minsan nga kahit di ko na kasalanan, iniisip ko lagi, maybe I did something wrong na I wasn’t aware of..kaya ako makulit e. Haha! Kasi yung konsensya ko makulit rin ;P

So kahit na nagsusumigaw na ang krimen sa harap ko, may butas pa rin na mabuti pa rin yung kriminal sa mga mata ko. Whew. Hirapan ako dun ha?

Kaya ako, I can’t decipher na how these people can do such horrible things to other people. Parang, it’s a pleasure for them to be a discomfort (misery pa nga e!) to others. What kind of pleasure do they get from that ba? They cause wounds…Why can’t they just spread the love? haha Do good things…same effort din naman e, edi for the better na di ba? I just don’t get it. Maybe evil has truly reigned the world, most hearts are ruled by them…Sad…Really, devastating.

Kasi di ba, mas effort pa nga to do bad e. So why would we opt to do bad? Dun na tayo sa less energy, pero more rewarding di ba? Hay redundant ko na…hindi ko talaga maintindihan…

Hay, bakit kailangan mag-effort to hurt other people’s feelings? Kung walang magawang kabutihan for them, let them be. Use the time to do more productive things, di ba? Sabi nga sa quote, “If you can’t love them, at least don’t hurt them.” Ang sipag-sipag natin magsiforward ng ganitong quotes, paulit-ulit na nga e, sana tinatamaan tayo.

I don’t know pero that stunt I pulled, kahit hindi natuloy, proved a point. Actually, mas okay nga na hindi natuloy e. Para syang either way, it can prove something. Gets ba? Kasi, alam ko talaga hindi matutuloy yun e. Tama si Dwight, hindi talaga “good” ang intentions nya from the start. Pero kung matuloy, why not chocnut. Sabagay kung natuloy yun, ako lang ang dehado. Kasi todo prepare pa sana ko e! Sayang, I was serious about the cherries pa naman..muntik pa ako magluto ng bacon asparagus na peyborit ko pwamis! Tagal-tagal ko na hindi nagluluto no! I asked Buddy Bam pa how to cook it.

Hay malunod sya sa unan! Mabilaukan sya sa cherries. Ang bad ko. Well, for a person like that, [let me say this, ha? alam ko ang mean.] he deserves it anyway…kulang pa! Oo na, who am I to judge no? E hello sukdulan! Basta.

Okay, once this entry is done…wa care na ako. As what Pearl said, apathy. CARE BEARS. Hehehehe. Kiber. Chuva! Baboosh!

1. What is the best nick name that u ever had?
* Ylla
2.Do you think suicide is the best way to end your pain?
* No. The best way to end pain is to endure it, with the help of loving friends
3. Rate your social life from scale 1 to 10.
* 9!
4.Are you in love with someone at the moment?
* No
5.are you missing someone at the moment?
* Hmmmm…Not really.
6.Would you die for the one you love?
* Depends. Can’t tell right now e
7.Do you think love hurts?
* It doesn’t. Jealousy, rejection, etc.. does. But LOVE? No.
8.Whats the best thing about love at first sight?
* there’s no such thing.
9.What’s the worst thing about love?
* loving an *sshole
10.Will you wait for someone you love?
* maybe. Well, yeah, if he’s worth the wait. And if he can assure that I’m not waiting for nothing. Aaattt…kung…depende yan sa maraming factors. Naman, there are lots of fishes in the ocean! Kung masalisihan sya, edi sorry na lang. (So guys, never take a girl for granted. O kaya never let her wait too long.)
11.What song best describes your love life at this second?
* love life is non existent, so no song. haha
13.Do you wanna get married?
* someday
14.Have you talked to the person you love on the phone?
* the time I was in love with him, yes.
15.Do you keep memories or try to forget them?
* choose good memories, keep them. And ditch the bad ones.
16.Is love always on your side or the opposite way?
* at first, on my side, then goes the opposite way haha
17 .Do you have a gay/lesbian/bisexual friend?
* Yes! dami nila..
19.Are you sick of love?
* hmmmm…for now, medyo.
20.Are you sick of questions on love?
* sometimes.
21.What are you going to do tomorrow?
* not sure yet
22.What do u want so badly right now?
* hahahaha! Basta! If things go as planned, I’m getting it tonight. Let’s keep our fingers crossed!
23.Do you think money is everything?
* No. Money isn’t everything. Though it is SOMETHING. haha
24.What song are you listening right now?
* Bruised water.
25.Whats the song, you last sang?
* I’m singing along to the song I’m listening to
26 .How much do you love music?
* I don’t think I’d live without it.
27.Do you play an instrument?
* used to
28.Have you written your own song?
* nung high school
29.Where did you last go?
* Trinoma
30.What turns you on from the opposite sex?
* tall, has a nice smile, great kisser, what else. Ha ha ha
31.Do you believe in forever?
* I’m not sure haha

well yeah, i dont just have a picture, i have picturessss. lots of ‘em. oo na, sabi ko nga, let it go. hahahaha! and the pictureS say a lot.

‘nuf said.

Btw, who wants to see them? Paolo has seen one of them. Pearl naman two. O should I make an album na? Tapos let’s make a story out of them, ala fan fiction chuva. Bummed ako sobra e, wala magawa. Panglibang lang. Haha

to go out or stay in tonight? hmmmm…i wanna go shopping, but malls close at 9 or 10, and it’s already 8.

and i’m not in the mood to party, drink, whatever. If Janna’s not going, parang ayaw ko na rin.

So, please…just stop asking me about it na. I already told someone (Ate Euki ) about the whole story, right from how it started, from the smallest to the biggest details…Nakakapagod ulit-ulitin e…Atsaka, do I owe everyone an explanation? Basta yun na yun, let’s just leave it at that. What’s done is done, it’s all in the past. I’ve learned a lot from it, as in A LOT Kasi the more I talk about it, lalo ako naiinis…and I don’t want that. I just want to let it go. Even the guy doesn’t know that I know “stuff”, the real deal behind. All he knows e naniniwala ako sa mga sinabi nya. Okay na yun, there’s no use naman e. Bottomline is, I know..yun na yun. Ayaw ko na isipin, kasi tapos na. I just want to let it go, bahala na si Lord. Tsaka hindi healthy maghold on ng grudges kakastress…mamaya magka-cancer pa tayo! hahaha!

Tsaka, it takes two to tango (or three…even more! hahaha! Who knows kung ilan pa. haha), so malamang may kasalanan din ako. There was this time na I didn’t talk the whole time, cold treatment, cold war kung ano man yun…sino namang matutuwa dun, di ba? Haha! At some point, liable din ako. Besides, let’s face it, tulad din ng sinabi ko sakanya way before we started hanging out, it’s not such a good idea, kasi hindi nga kami jamming (sabi rin ni Ate Fei). Pero sabi nya, good idea. So, I gave it a shot, took a risk, it didn’t work out…okay lang Shit happens. Kaya nga kahit during that time, most of the time iniisip ko, ayaw ko na. Sinasabi ko nga kina Dwight, hintayin ko na lang na sya yung unang bumitaw…pero ako nananabang na ako. Kasi hindi na sya healthy, sobrang complicated pa…tapos he’s been taking me for granted na. Naisip ko rin na baka bumpy road, tough time lang…kaya ayun nga hinayaan ko sya ang magdecide, ako nakaabang na lang what could/would happen next. Kaya nga nung finally nagtanong na ako, nagsalita na sya, parang “relief” yung nafeel ko, siguro may onting sadness…pero more of relief. I raged lang nung Fei told me stuff he told someone else. Parang, WTF?! Pero tapos na yun, I have let go of that na rin. Care bears what they think. God knows what really happened. Kakastress lang na ipagtanggol ko pa side ko e. E I don’t even hang out with those people, I just see them “around”. Di ba? O sya O sya, 3 entries in a day, OA na! haha

omg! See, I told yah…I didn’t wake up before noon, wasn’t able to go to Makati to meet up my bonggang-bonggang sisterette for lunch. Ugh. BAAAAAD!!! Nahawa na ako kay over-the-rainbow. In fairness naman saakin, I woke up past 3…hindi naman gabi!

Hay, I’m so tamad to go out tonight…even tomorrow. I have the biggest zit of my entire existence (so far) above my lip…mga few millimeters above. Hehe. STRESSFUL! What did I do to deserve all these pimples?!?!?! Kakainis. Akala ko worst breakout ko na yung before cutoff sa work, mas malala ito!!!

Oh well, when I was already cozy under the sheet, surrounded by all the pillows in bed, nagwala ang “hi sweety, text message!!”, nagtext si Sean…”San ka?” My initial reaction was, “Is this for me? O baka wrong sent ito.” So I replied, “Sa bahay. Y?” Ang lolo nagaya ng party…sabi ko na lang, wala pa akong tulog blah-blah. So ayun, hininaan ko muna ang “hi sweety, text message!”. And when I woke up this afternoon, whoa!!! 27 text messages, mostly from Qhuey. GRABE! I was like, “what am i gonna read first??!? which of these might be an urgent chuva, chenes, ekek” So ayun, I started from the bottom. Mga 1 hour tuloy ako in bed before actually getting up. Syempre I had to reply to some of ‘em, then yung nireplyan ko, sasagot din uli. Hay. Life. Pag wala ka naman magawa, wala ka katext. BUHAY! TIMING naman ng maayos!! Wahaha!

Hindi muna ako siguro lalabas this weekend…esp with all the breakout blah blah kakabuwisit. oooh lala bonding muna with the bed, siguro watch some mushy DVDs, o kaya sing along with my ooh lala ziller at magfeeling DIVA. O kaya my favorite of all – listen to music, lie in bed, stare at the ceiling while holding my teddy…and think of nothing. Or pwede rin, contemplate on stuff, esp with what’s been happening, and what just happened…teehee. Gumaganun pa?!?! AS IF naman!

Haha! It’s 6:19 in the evening…alala ko noon, ganyang oras, gantong araw…kagigising lang…namin. At kung paanong sinira ng tawag ni Mickey ang moment na yun. Actually hindi nga ata ako nakatulog kase simula umaga tawag sya ng tawag. Nakakainis nga e!!! Kund hindi lang purple si samsung, itinapon ko na sya sa toilet. HAHA! Yung mga araw na natutulog ako ng may contact lens at nakakapit pa ang studio fix sa mukha ko. Tapos ngayon nagtatanong pa ko bakit nagkaganto ang mukha ko. wahahaha